Thought storage post

Disclaimer: 'kay, this post sums things up for me and offers a kind of "introduction" to my blog. I am working to make sure it stays in the top spot of my homepage but if it doesn't, sorry and you need to go look for it.



6.09.2008

Who needs statistics anyway ?

Okay folks - this was my first foray into *s* fiction. Hope you enjoy it.


Shit...Shit… Shit… Shit... I mumbled while slowly climbing the stairs to the "corner" where I was "supposed" to be thinking about my transgressions. Yeah, right. All I was thinking about was how stupid I was and the inevitable price my bottom was going to pay for that costly mistake. This day was not turning out as I planned – that’s for sure.

Slowly, I inched my way up the stairs making sure each foot made contact with every single step along the way. No reason to take a chance on falling. Absolutely not - safety first is my motto. Unfortunately, Tina didn't share my views regarding this issue.


"Samantha Marie, you have exactly five seconds to get in the corner," came her voice from the den in surround sound. Who knew our house had such cool acoustics ?!

Uh oh. There it was - that edge in her voice was unmistakable. You know the you’re-in-so-much-trouble-young-lady voice. Mom had that same edge in her voice whenever my brother or I stepped out of line. I must admit that Tina has elevated it to a WHOLE new level.


Deciding not to push my luck, I hit those stairs two at a time and vaulted into the bedroom looking for the "corner" (there is no way I can refrain from making air quotes whenever I utter that word - it is almost a proper noun in my mind) .

Standing in the "corner" I did begin to reflect on the events of today. It started out like any other day.


Beep...Beep...Beep…

My arm came crashing down in an attempt to obliterate the alarm clock. Fuck snooze - I wanted that piece of modern technology to be rendered incapable of EVER invading my slumber again. Yes, I had a major resentment against that that vile piece of technology. Who could blame me? After all, I had been up until 3 am finishing my research paper for statistics, a class which has absolutely no appeal to me whatsoever. Whoever heard of doing a research paper in statistics? It boggles the mind if you ask me. Why in the hell do I need to know statistics to get my masters in music anyway- someone explain that to me!!

I was quickly refocused on current events by a sharp smack to my hindquarters. Damn, hadn’t any clue she was even in the room. Where was I when she developed her stealth powers?


“Stop thinking about how much you hate statistics and focus on what YOU did to end up in the corner.” She doesn’t use the air quotes thing. Oh, and did I mention she has psychic abilities?

Yelping, I jumped and clutched the part of my anatomy under attack. “Yes Tina, I mean ma’am,” was my quick reply – no sense taking chances.


I risked a quick glance back (maybe it isn't as bad as I think). A set of fiery hazel eyes locked onto my repentant (or so I hoped) blue eyes. As I saw her steely gaze and clenched jaw, self preservation kicked in and I was facing that “corner” so fast my head was spinning. Clenching my cheeks (you know which ones I mean) I held my breath waiting for the rest of her "response." After a few seconds I heard retreating footsteps – guess she didn’t feel the need to be quite as stealth by then. Yep, she was pissed, really pissed.

This did not bode well for me. Nope, this did not bode well at all.

Okay, let’s review the events of today.

After silencing that bloody alarm clock, I decided to blow off my 8am class. After all, I had been up toiling on that stupid paper for a stupid never-going-to use-it-in-my-life class. I was definitely due a well-deserved rest – anyone would agree.

Next I went about the task of attaining that glorious state of REM sleep again. I knew Tina wouldn't be home until 5pm which gave me plenty of time not only to get more wonderful sleep but also make her favorites for dinner.

Yeah, a little change in my schedule, favorites for dinner – this day was definitely looking brighter. I figured there was no reason to bother her with this minor schedule change. Nope, no reason at all.

Somehow her insistence on class attendance slipped my mind. Must have been the sleep deprivation.

Having quickly quelled that voice in my head suggesting this may not be the best idea, I set about achieving my goal. Using multiple blankets, skillfully placed pillows and changing positions about a million times, I was finally able to block all light from reaching my eyes and quickly returned to a state of blissful sleep.

Life was good. Very good.

Too bad I had neglected to look at the calendar posted conspicuously on the refrigerator door. You know, the one central Iocation we both agreed to use to post any appointments, schedule changes, etc. There is also a cute little notepad magnet with kittens next to it. A few months after we moved in together (wow, almost 15 years ago) it became obvious that we needed a communication aid. Rather, it became obvious to Miss Organized after SHE overlooked the message I had left her regarding her doctor’s appointment. Granted it was on the back of the credit card bill (another chapter in the getting-Samantha-organized-no-matter-what saga) but hey, I left the message for her.

Hence, the calendar and kitten notepad came into my life.

It would definitely have been helpful if I had noticed that Tina had office hours this morning (she is an English professor) and would be home at noon. Yeah...if only I had done that.

While blissfully unaware of her arrival (you see, I had achieved my goal of REM sleep - yay me!!) she arrived at our humble abode (how often do I get to use that phrase – pretty cool). After making her way into the house, she called my name several times (or so she says – after all, I was asleep) finally making her way into our bedroom.

Suddenly, there was someone with a bright light surrounding a beautiful face standing above me. My first thought was I was having some kind of heart attack or stroke – those damn cigarettes had caught up with me. Otherwise, why would there be an angel hovering over me insisting I get up and follow her?

Seemed reasonable at the time.

I assumed this beautiful creature was here to take me to the pearly gates. Kinda filled me with a sense of peace knowing I had a guide into the celestial kingdom.

I was wrong. Way off base on that one.

Reality was about to come crashing down and not in a good way.

My so-called angel wasn't quite sure what had happened. The remnants of the alarm clock clued her into the possible cause for my continued slumber and subsequent dazed look. She knows what I am like when I don't get enough sleep. We buy alarm clocks by the case.

"Sam, Sammie, come on, get up. Come with me and I'll fix some lunch." Her voice slowly penetrated my I-just-woke-up-haze. Did she say lunch? Shit. I looked around to see what time it was but...well, that proved to be an impossible task. You know, the alarm clock in pieces thing.

I quickly went into action, scrambled into the bathroom and prayed it was really 5pm. After showering in record time, grabbing a pair of sweats and t-shirt, I made it down to the kitchen in 7 minutes flat. Amazing how your body never forgets that sprint training from college – kind of like riding a bike. Unfortunately the clock in the kitchen indicated 12:30pm. Not good…not good at all.

Tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches awaited my arrival. "Comfort food, figured you needed it after last night." Now how thoughtful is that I ask you. No wonder this woman captured my heart all those years ago.

"So, why couldn't you sleep?" she asked casually while blowing on the soup to cool it down. "Just couldn't," was my quick reply. Man, I really hoped that was the end of it.

No such luck.

"Why not?" she asked while looking pointedly at me. Great, she has slipped into her inquiring-minds-want-to-know mode.

You see, I had led her to believe (however, never actually stated – want to be clear on that) my paper had been completed 2 days ago. When asked I had simply stated it was done. She neglected to follow up with any additional questions - you know... which draft I was talking about, what font I used, etc. See - not my fault she drew the wrong conclusion. Somehow I doubted she would share my view on this matter.

"Sam, why couldn't you sleep ?"she asked again - her voice seemed tighter and she had those I-am-getting-irritated wrinkles on her forehead.

”Ifinishedmystatisticspaper," I managed to squeak out in a whisper. The intricate wood design on our kitchen table quickly captured my undivided attention.

There was no way I could look her in the eye – no way at all. She reached over the table and gently raised my chin until I was forced to meet her gaze. "Please repeat what you just said."

"I finished my statistics paper." In a flash her hazel eyes took on a fiery hue and those wrinkles became very, very pronounced. Yeah, I was screwed.

So…that brings us to me standing in the “corner.”

"Samantha, please come here."


Slowly I turn around, gather up all my courage and look towards her voice. She has calmed down – the wrinkles are still present though. I quickly look down and begin the long journey across the great divide (okay, maybe 20 feet but it sure feels like the great divide). As I reach the bed (or final destination as I like to call it), she reaches up, grabs my wrist and sits me down next to her. Now that is a pleasant surprise!

Up until now I had not been able to look her in the eye. Again, I feel her tilting my chin up to meet her gaze. There it is – her eyes filled with sadness, a little anger and disappointment. The tears begin spilling out of my eyes as crushing guilt washes over me.

Here sits (for now) a 35 year old woman, accomplished musician, active in charities (I put money in the red bucket at Christmas) and fulltime teacher. Hell- I even returned to graduate school the past year (had to learn the whole studying thing all over again but I did it – yay me twice now!!)

I manage to juggle school, home and work. I EVEN throw in a work out twice a week. Okay, initially Tina provided some motivation (applied is more like it ) and really impressed upon me the importance of taking care of myself, eating right, getting enough sleep and putting down the cigarettes. She was and still is unwavering in that area. Taking care of me is a requirement for having the privilege of sitting. Choice is mine. I like to sit.

In the last 3 days I lied, cut class, damaged electronics (although that could have happened regardless) and hurt the most important person in my life. Did I miss the “mind going on vacation” memo? What the hell is wrong with me? What kind if person am I? Ahhhh, my old friend Self Loathing is back. Welcome home.

Tina nods her head slightly and pulls me over her lap. "Lift up honey," she quietly says - code for pants are coming down now. No trace of anger but that disappointment is still there. My tears continue unabated. As I lift up my hips, I realize the time for atonement is here.

Finally.

I close my eyes and wait for the first smack. No matter how many times I have found myself in this position, I always try to prepare for that first one. It never works – I am always stunned. This time was no exception.

SMACK. The sound echoes throughout the room (remember, our house has cool acoustics) a moment before my bottom registers anything. The reality of my situation quickly becomes apparent to me. Tina hits HARD! Her athletic prowess in college has served her well over the past 20 years. As she slips into a rhythm, I come to accept that she is: 1. very strong, 2. has the stamina of an Olympic athlete. Good for her….bad for me.

"Ow, Ow, Ow. That is too hard. Stop, please stop." I know I will quickly follow up with “I’m sorry” and “it will never happen again” - the time honored script of anyone on the receiving end of a well-deserved spanking. I know this script by heart...played in this sandbox before.

As spank after spank continue to rain down on my wriggling bottom, the time for spoken words arrives. I quickly thank all that is Holy the relentless assault on my bottom is halted. The uncontrollable sobbing remains. Did I mention that she really, really hits HARD? I tell her through choked sobs. I don’t think she took it as the compliment I had intended.

I am FINALLY able to speak in a somewhat coherent manner. "Samantha, why are you getting this spanking?" she asks after hours and hours. Tina (aka Miss Hand-of-Iron) informs me it was only 5 minutes. How does she know that? No alarm clock, remember? I'll just let this go for now.

"Because I procrastinated," I manage to say through tears.

"Why else, "she asks – I pray she won't physically accentuate her questions.

Shit, my prayer isn't answered.


Tina decides to bring out the spank- per-word rule. The word count includes her questions and my…yes my… responses. Thankfully she doesn't apply the spank-per-syllable rule. See, the glass is really half full.

"And I lied to you and skipped class." Notice the number of words in my response. She certainly did. Sobbing makes an entrance again.

"And why else ? “questions Tina with an additional 3 spanks to make sure I am paying attention. I am.

"I didn't take care of myself," I reply quietly (contractions are quickly becoming my friend).

I know she hears the regret and shame in my voice. I know that is my worst transgression in her eyes. Not taking care of myself. Lying is a close second but my health trumps everything.

"Yes, you didn't take care of yourself. Let's take care of that right now," she states while picking up the hairbrush. See, I told you.

What – wait a minute! Whoa, back the truck up!! I think I have met the atonement requirements for all my transgressions and convey as much to her. Unfortunately, she does not share my opinion. She also doesn't abide by the contraction rule. No, they count as 2 words. English professor, remember… Great, just fucking great.

Marshmallows can be roasted over the fire she has raised in my posterior and she wants to make it hotter!! I sure hope the fire extinguisher is still in here somewhere. Where is that half full glass again? I may need it to keep the flames at bay.

As she pulls me closer to her waist I hear her say "all that's left is 15 with the hairbrush and we will be done." Her last sentence is somehow exempt from the word count. I am grateful for small favors. It’s still going to hurt like hell.

She knows I haven't let go yet – haven't forgiven myself for the disappointment in her hazel eyes. We both hope 15 will be enough to bring me some relief. I welcome her arm holding me securely against her body. I know she is with me, loves me, is sharing my pain. I feel safe in her arms (I will reflect on the paradox of that statement at a later time).

I close my eyes, grab the comforter and wait for the next barrage of scorchers. I don’t have to wait long as a fast volley of smacks makes contact. By the time my brain registers the pain, it is over. All I can do is cry as Tina gently rubs my back and quietly soothes my heart with her loving words.

Slowly I am lifted up and find myself on her lap. Tina makes sure my bottom doesn't touch the harsh fabric of her jeans. She is well practiced in this ritual. As I lay against her chest with her arms holding me securely, I hear her tell me over and over that I am forgiven. I am a good person. I am loved.

Maybe today wasn’t such a bad day after all. I gaze into her eyes and know the night will be even better. I was right this morning.

Life is good. Life is very good.

6 comments:

Southern Sage said...

i think u need a spanking!!!

dangergirl said...

In your dreams...and mine !!

Thanks SS for dropping by.

will69b said...

So naughty!

"Marshmallows can be roasted over the fire she has raised in my posterior and she wants to make it hotter!!"

(I love this line, dg!)

~~smiles*
x,Will

dangergirl said...

Thanks will69b for dropping by and I am glad you liked the story - it was my first ever foray into writing and definitely my first ever approaching the whole *s* topic.

So cool you liked the line (I thought it was funny but I sometimes wonder if others get my humor...well, I don't wonder for long *lol*)

:D dg

Lil Bit said...

Well, well, well.... I've FINALLY made it to your 1st foray! Yay for me! lol
... and what an AWESOME one, chicky!! I reeeally liked this!

Tina's psychic! LOL, that cracked me up.

-- will catch up on the others another time, k?

whew, hot in here or is it Sam's ass? LOL

dangergirl said...

Hey lb - glad you finally made it to numero uno :D

Thanks for the postive feedback and really glad you found it humorous.

Oddly enough Sam's musings such as the psychic comment and use of air quotes came effortlessly (is that even a word ? it is today !) to the screen while I was writing - color me stunned ;)