Someone

Okay, this is a story I wrote and posted on a spanking website. Yes, it is hard for me to say the *s* word out loud and thus my little foray into fiction. This story contains the *s* word and , I guess, what could be considered D/s or domestic discipline or yada, yada. If that bothers you then time to go. If not, cool...


Boredom. That really should be a four letter word. Seems like nothing gets me into more trouble than that – boredom. See how it just rolls innocently off the tongue – a completely innocuous word. Maybe but it certainly isn’t an innocuous state of being, that’s for sure.

This really wasn’t my fault. I know you will agree with me once all the facts come to light. It was simply a normal and natural response to boredom – anyone would have engaged in these activities to relieve the tedium. Actually, I was doing a community service and should receive a letter or plaque at least. You’ll see what I mean and agree that someone who shall remain nameless is being completely unreasonable…completely.

It started out innocently enough – beautiful sunny day, not a cloud in the sky. It was the kind of day that begged for you to blow off work (I didn’t) and just lay in the hammock while reading a book. Yeah, it was THAT kind of day. Personally, I think it showed remarkable restraint on my part to go to work in the first place. Again, someone wouldn’t agree but that is not my problem (yet).

Okay, so I go to work completely intent on being productive. I walked in the office and proceeded to begin the arduous task of sorting through my inbox. The paper fairies must have been working late last night. After working diligently for five hours I had completely addressed every piece of paper in the inbox and was pretty much done for the day. I was simply possessed with this desire to be the best employee I could be this morning which explains the extraordinary amount of work I had completed by lunch. The other possibility is the two double espressos I sucked down before work.

Anyway, here I am being all “Miss Productive” and am thinking about going home early (just a little) after clearing it with the boss (not a problem as long as I get my stuff done). Two o’clock rolled around and I decided to take my lunch and go home after that which means I really left work two hours early – not three. It just so happens I decided to take my lunch at home – very convenient and I saved gas by combining two trips into one (yep, community service moment).

Arriving home for lunch (before leaving work for the day – btw) I set out on finding something for lunch. After scouring the pantry and fridge, nothing really appealed to me – know what I mean? Nothing looked good. Grabbing an apple, I decided to head into the living room and read my book. Funny thing happened on my way to the chair. I noticed the surround speakers were still on the floor (a certain someone was supposed to have hung them three weeks ago) and the hardware was conveniently next to the speakers. I did exactly what I was told to do three weeks ago (just leave them alone) and walked past them with my book in hand.

After thirty minutes or so, I had finished my book and was ready to do something else to fill the remaining two hours of leisure time Miss Productive had earned this morning. I tried daytime TV (sucked), wasn’t house cleaning day (didn’t seriously consider this option) and way too wired to take a nap. The day was beautiful so I thought about cleaning the gutters (thought I was going to mention the speakers, huh?). Now, I had never actually done this before but did know it was part of being a responsible home owner.

I set out to begin my task by gathering the necessary supplies. I have watched enough DIY to know what is needed – a big ass ladder, thick gloves and something to stick in the gutters to push the leaves out (I’m thinking a trowel or something). Luckily I am able to locate the said items in the garage (someone insists that everything be all organized and returned to its place IMMEDIATELY after I use it – pain in the ass but helpful when I need to find a tool).

The ladder proved to be a bit more challenging than I had originally thought. The problem is it is one of those big ass ladders that extends so you can actually reach the top of the house and weighs about 400 pounds (approximately). I don’t weigh anywhere near that (trying not to be crushed under the weight of said ladder) and am not a 6 foot giant either. Since this was now mocking me it became obvious what was going to happen – I would clean the gutters or die trying. Hey, the ladder started it…mocking thing, remember?

Finally I succeeded in getting the freaking hunk of metal against the house (upright) and it was secured in place. Put on the gloves, grab the little garden shovel (couldn’t find a trowel) and climb up the ladder – nothing was keeping me from completing this task. Oh, there was one other thing….

I should probably mention I have been suffering from an inner ear infection (don’t worry – tomorrow is the last day of my antibiotics and it is getting better…thanks for the concern though). This had impacted my balance a bit, okay a lot, but it is much better now and I haven’t felt dizzy or bumped into things since yesterday. See, all better.

The climb up was uneventful and I quickly abandoned the stupid shovel in favor of using my hand to push the leaves out of the gutter. It was kind of satisfying watching them plummet to the ground (better them than me). The project proceeded quite nicely (found three Frisbees on the roof) and I was done with the ladder part within the hour. Raking and bagging the gallant leaves (remember, plummeted to their death) took another thirty minutes. Shoot, I was done, bags by the road for pick-up and the three Frisbees returned to their rightful owners by 4:30p (once again a community service moment – will it ever end?). Yeah baby (I’m doing my Austin Powers voice), I was Miss Super Productive today.

Quick shower (productivity has its own aroma), dinner in the oven (ham plus veggies), table set and I am cooking with gas!! The dinner and table setting thing went without a hitch – completely trouble free. The shower thing didn’t go quite as planned (hygiene and boredom get me in trouble). It was the actually trek to the shower that caused the problem (yeah, yeah – it was those damn speakers). I figured I was on a roll with ladders (no silly, even I know to use a step ladder) and home improvement projects so it seemed only natural to continue utilizing my talents. Well, to me it seemed natural.

Strapping on my cape once again, I whisked about the house gathering the needed supplies (easy to find since all the tools were in their proper place). Hanging the speakers wasn’t a problem. I have had tons of practice hanging large pictures so I completely understand the whole “stud or drywall anchor” thing and am quite adept at securing hanging objects to the wall. Those speakers were secured in record time and the tools were put away. There was only one thing left to do and, although I had never done it, I had seen it done a thousand times before and had the basics down pat.

Now, I knooow you are thinking this is where the problem happened – me with electricity. Perish the thought. I was able to complete the wiring (took a few times to get the insulation off without cutting the wire) and the speakers worked great. After crawling out from behind the “media center” as someone calls it, I disposed of the evidence, sorry, I meant wire remnants and put away the wire cutters.

Stopping in the kitchen, I threw some potatoes in a pan of water, ham in the oven and green beans (fresh, I might add – had a few minutes to spare so quickly snapped off the ends) on the counter ready for action. Screw Martha Stewart – Miss Super Productive was in the house now!! Being distraction free I proceeded in my quest for a shower. Mentally checking off the tasks I had completed today, I decided this was definitely a back-patting moment…oh yeah, definitely.

Climbing in the shower and allowing the soothing water to cascade down my productive self, I couldn’t help but smile as I mentally checked off all the stuff I had accomplished today. Damn, I AM good. Electing to use the “girly” soap, I leisurely washed the remnants of my day away and slipped into my favorite jeans with my “Question Authority” t-shirt (remnant from my college days – I would NEVER do that now). A quick glance at the clock let me know I had about twenty minutes before someone came home so it was off to the kitchen to finish my delightful (let us not forget homemade !) dinner for two.

Remember when I mentioned boredom and personal hygiene get me in trouble. I’m about to paint a pretty clear picture of what I mean.

Scurrying down the stairs (quest to provide wholesome nourishment to someone I love) I decided to detour through the living room to admire my handiwork. Here was the problem – on the way to the living room I tripped over the wire cutters (they must have escaped from the garage because I HAD put them away) and fell into the hallway table. This jarred the precariously balanced lamp and sent it crashing to the floor. No, I wasn’t hurt but thanks for asking. I gingerly stepped around the broken glass (there was actually quite a bit – the whole ‘lamp shatter’ phenomenon) and retrieved a broom, dustpan and garbage can. With me so far? Good.

I am dutifully cleaning up the remnants of the lamp when someone walked in the door and told me to freeze. WTF ? Unfortunately I was so startled that I took a step backwards and a piece of glass decided to take up residence in my foot. This was followed by blood (mine) and some colorful expletives on my part aimed at the cause of my current foot tenant. After excising myself from the danger area, it was suggested that I continue to the bathroom and begin the process of attending to my cut (actually, more like a wound) which I did. Some peroxide, Neosporin and a Band-Aid and I was good as new (slight limp).

Making my way to the kitchen, I was momentarily stunned by the site awaiting me. The ham was sliced and on the table, potatoes were mashed and green beans were being dished up by my beloved. Come on, how sweet is that? I was directed to the table and we commenced with our dining experience. I know you are still a little confused about the whole “boredom + hygiene =trouble” connection…just hang with me for a few more moments. I had to present the same package all wrapped up with a red bow on top to someone also so it will save time if you listen in.

Dinner is over, dishes in the dishwasher and I am thinking it is time for some R & R with my honey. Yep, that was definitely my thought…unfortunately it wasn’t shared. Retiring to the living room, we take a seat next to each other on the couch and I commence to cuddle.

“Oh, the speakers are hung,” I heard in a nonchalant voice.

“Yeah, I went ahead and took care of it since I had some free time today.”

I continued to relish in comfort (both physical and emotional) and nestled closer to the object of my affection.

“They sound great.” See, compliment time!! “You must have hung them in record time.”

Now, the nestling apparently was affecting my hearing because NO alarms went off in my head – NONE and usually I can hear a change in tone when trouble is brewing. Not this time – bummer for me.

Before I knew it my mouth was calmly filling in the details of my afternoon – ALL the details. It all started with this little statement, “I got done early at work so I came home, finished my book and nothing was on TV. I was bored so I decided to…fill in the blank.” You pretty much know the rest of the story.

Things were still cool in Cuddle County. Then it happened – the tornado came and Cuddle County was declared a disaster area.

You know what caused the problem (you aren’t going to believe it)? It wasn’t the ladder-gutter thing or the “hung speakers even though told not to.” Nope, it was the freaking glass-in-foot thing – can you believe that?! I get in trouble for being injured – how wrong in that I ask you?!! Apparently (eyes rolling by now) I should have been wearing some type of footwear while I was cleaning up the glass. My response was “I was fine until you yelled at me!” You guessed it – didn’t go over well.

The whole “you could have really hurt yourself” (did the limp go completely unnoticed?) was discussed at great length from every possible angle. You would be surprised how many ways there are to phrase this particular issue (twelve different word combinations – I counted). Lots of verbs and adjectives came into play. During the course of the conversation I couldn’t help but notice a dark cloud descend upon the room. A noticeable chill was in the air. Even I figured out this wasn’t good.

Apparently someone decided to include other actions to my list of transgressions. Well, that certainly explains the cloud and chill now doesn’t it? Actually, someone had started out with the least serious which I found out later and yes, the speakers DID make the list along with that freaking ‘climbing high (altitude, NOT me) with a balance issue’ – that was actually number one on the list of “Another thing I’m not allowed to do and probably didn’t know it” (can you hear the whine in my voice yet? That list is SO unfair). Anyway, I’m thinking this probably isn’t going to turn out well for me. I heard that and yes, I did state the obvious. Can’t you tell this is a time when I need your support, not laughter? Fine… just shut up.

The next thing I knew I found myself splayed across someone’s lap. Okay, I had kinda sorta violated a big rule – the whole “don’t do anything stupid that can get me hurt” rule or the “prevent frolic and fun” rule. Guess which name I came up with…

Anyway, I quickly recover my composure (hey, I was dizzy at the sudden change in position) and voiced my views. A quick flurry of swats descended upon my posterior which “quick started” my mouth. Unfortunately, my brain hadn’t quite evaluated the situation. “Son of a bitch” mixed with “what the hell do you think you are doing” plus “stop it you asshole” flew out of my mouth before I could stop. Actually, they flew out of my mouth more than once as the “little flurry” took on bigger proportions and the next thing I knew my jeans and panties were down around my knees. When you think about it, it is a pretty impressive feat to pull down jeans plus panties while maintaining the position of a squirming, fighting, wiggling person over one’s lap.

To say someone was on a mission to turn my white ass into a cauldron of heat and smoke is an understatement. The whole mouth thing didn’t help me and seemed to add a little motivation to someone. I had no idea I could survive such an event! Smack after smack after smack rained down on my poor, unprotected bottom for a good fifteen minutes. I had quickly changed my tune and “I’m sorry” plus “I promise to be careful” came flying out of my mouth (brain had finally kicked in). Of course these were mixed with “Stop, please stop” and the timeless “I’ll never do it again.” I am sure I said some other things but you get the idea. Throw in the whole scissor leg thing plus wriggling bottom and you have an entire exercise program (I have the perfect name –‘Smack down to perfect buns’ although the WWF might have a copyright issue). By the time this “event” was over I had been transformed from a righteously indignant crusader into a penitent and contrite little girl.

Sooo, to sum it up (get ready because this is a long run-on sentence) – I was bored which resulted in a burst of home improvement activities which resulted in the need for a shower which resulted in the unfortunate tumble over the wire cutters (I swear I put them away) which resulted in the shattered lamp which resulted in the wound. I told you - boredom and personal hygiene.

I spent some more time (finally upright) on someone’s lap and found myself engulfed in an embrace until my crying had been reduced to a little sniffling. I still planned on pouting for the rest of the evening. Yes, I had been careless (a little!!) and probably slightly impulsive (or accomplished multiple goals) in my actions today.

Relaxing under the warmth of the embrace, I let go of my indignation (masked my embarrassment) and begrudgingly allowed the offered comfort to soothe my bruised ego. Admitting I acted like an impulsive kid and did engage in quite a few risky behaviors while justifying them (not well) slowly came to pass as I soaked in the forgiveness. Shit, ain’t that a bitch!!

Finally nature called and I was forced to leave my place of comfort and protection. That place has been available to me for many years now. It took me awhile to recognize that until someone pierced my wall and touched the scared little girl. She’s the one that led me there and placed her trust in someone. I did too.

As I headed to the bathroom, I reflected upon the day. It had been productive, shit got done and dinner was lovely. Inspecting the targeted area in the mirror (damn, it WAS red and hot), once again I was reminded (strongly, I might add) how loved I was by my someone. How cool is that?

I’ll provide my own reminder to someone later tonight. Yeah, how cool is that!!!