Thought storage post

Disclaimer: 'kay, this post sums things up for me and offers a kind of "introduction" to my blog. I am working to make sure it stays in the top spot of my homepage but if it doesn't, sorry and you need to go look for it.



As I sit here in the dark, I long for your embrace. Where are you? Why aren’t you here with me? With us?

I hear the kids getting ready. I need to get ready too. As I notice the hairbrush – your hairbrush – I can’t help but smile a little.

Remember when we caught the twins sneaking back in the house? They had both decided to celebrate their eighteenth birthday as the new adults they were. Or thought they were.

We stayed up watching Joan Crawford movies until 2 in the morning. It was your turn to make the beverage/snack run to the kitchen. I decided to check on the kids, needed to after watching Mommie Dearest. The population in our house had decreased by 50 percent…a statistic I quickly shared with you. The movie fest was over.

I remember the surprised look on Ashley’s face when you walked out of the den. I showed up just as Olivia entered the house. We both had the same pose – head slightly cocked to the side, raised eyebrow, arms folded across chest, grim expression. My blues eyes were cold as ice while your green eyes lit up the room. Oh yeah, they were surprised all right.

You simply turned around and headed up the stairs. No need for words. The twins followed while I brought up the rear (so to speak). I saw Olivia reach for Ashley’s hand. You saw it too. Reaching Liv’s bedroom, you stood sentry at the opened door. I smiled as hands covered bottom when she scooted past you. You smiled a little too.

Ash continued down the hall to her room…her hands taking up the same position as Liv’s. Some things never change no matter how old you are.

“What were you thinking? Where have you been?” My voice was calm but my eyes remained ice cold. Ash knew she was in big trouble.

She whispered, “At the Idle Hour.” Now, I knew my ears had to be deceiving me. My eighteen year old daughter had just informed me she had spent the night at the seediest bar in town. That could not be right.

“I don’t think I heard you correctly. What did you say?” That edge had crept into my voice. “Ashley, look at me when I am talking to you!” Oh yeah, the edge was unmistakable.

As her head snapped up, I could see the tears in her eyes. “Idle hour.” She said it. The Idle Hour.

“The Idle Hour? Are you crazy?” echoed from down the hall. Liv just confirmed Ashley’s story.

You and I were on the same page. Fuck calm.

Towering over my daughter, I asked through clenched teeth, “Are you out of your mind? Do you know how dangerous that place is? How could you have possibly thought that was a good idea?” Eyes staring at the floor, hands in her lap, my usually talkative daughter was rendered speechless.

“You had better look at me young lady while you explain yourself,” I growled. Yep, fuck calm.

“Well, we wanted to celebrate our birthday out and…well… we are adults now."

Gotta give her credit, she managed to hold my gaze. Good for her. I decided to give her all the props she had earned.

“Really…” By now the calm voice had returned and I was still, completely still.

“Yes, Liv and I are eighteen now and can go where we want.” The girl must have brain damage…or suddenly lost twenty IQ points…or maybe just flat out lost her mind. I didn’t care.

“Adult, huh? As long as you live in this house you will follow the rules. I don’t care if you are eighteen or eighty!!” The time for talking was over and I was ready for action.

Sitting down next to Ash, I quickly grabbed her wrist and deftly pulled her over my lap. Now, she was expecting this but I think my speed caught her off guard. Nice to know I held a few surprises.

Pulling her close to my body, I raised my hand and quickly landed three smacks on her bottom. Ash and I have been here before...we both knew what to expect. I knew it will take a few dozen smacks before tears began to flow. She knew I would hold her tightly against my body…would remain silent the first few minutes. We both would.

I continued to land smack after smack, alternating between cheeks. I knew this same scene was being played up the hall. “Ow”, “I’m sorry,” and “Stop” will have filled the room up the hall as tears streamed down Liv’s face. She’s never been the silent type.

Flipping up her skirt, I was greeted with a thong. Yes, my daughter wore a thong to the seediest bar in town !!

Reaching two fingers under the waistband, I quickly lowered the offending item to her ankles… much to her chagrin. I still didn’t care.

Inspecting the upturned bottom over my lap, I noticed her cheeks were rounder and had filled out since the last time we were in this position. She still hadn’t fully crossed over into womanhood, the diminutive size and lithe body a testimony to her youth. I wondered if her sister had completed that journey.

As I reached for the hairbrush, I began anew to make my point...well, several points. I informed my errant daughter that the Idle Hour was off limits, forever. I further informed her that she was NEVER to sneak out of the house again. I knew you were covering the same points down the hall... We were on the same page.

SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK. “You will never, ever place yourself in such a dangerous situation again!!” SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK. By now her cheeks were a deep maroon and any semblance of stoicism had long since been abandoned. Ash kicked her legs, wiggled her bottom, and pounded her fists in the floor as the lesson continued. Her tears and pleas fell on deaf ears…my heart heard them.

I emphasized my last point by focusing the last six smacks on her sit spots. I wanted her to think about the danger she had been in. I wanted her to remember the fear in my voice. I wanted her to remember the resolve in my eyes.

I needed her to remember.

“Mom, let’s go.” Those three words hurl me back to the present.

It’s time for us to make that journey. I quickly embrace both girls, whispering how much I love each of them…everything will be okay. I see the tears in their eyes and they see the sorrow in mine.

As we make our way to the door, we see you sitting in the chair, staring blankly out the window.

Your body is still...almost.

I long to offer some comfort...some solace in this time of grief. I can’t.

I finally look away. “It’s time.”

I grab each girl’s hand as we walk through the door to whatever awaits us. I take comfort knowing the girls don’t have to make this journey alone…I can ease their fear. I know you take some comfort in that also. It’s not enough.

I know we will have a guide. I pray you find one.

I am flooded with sadness as we leave you our home.

I know we will all be together again. I hope you know that too.

We are family.


Anonymous said...

I'm really enjoying your stories.
This one was stirring on many levels.

There is humor & sadness (comedy & tragedy) to be found here.

I loved Ashley having her bottom smacked up the stairs; covering her backside with her hands. Also, the name of the bar: The Idle Hour (perfect). And, last, but certainly not least: The Thong! Oh my, she was quite prepared for that bare bottomed spanking, aye?

This was an all-round, thoughtful,

The ending left me breathless:
Beautiful, dg.


dangergirl said...

Thank you so much Will for your comment. The Idle Hour is an honest to goodness bar from my youth (sans windows and with the most comfortable barstools/chairs EVER made).

This story resulted from an influx of "stuff" from "everywhere" - lot for the muse to draw upon - weird day.

Ya'made me smile today :D