Thought storage post

Disclaimer: 'kay, this post sums things up for me and offers a kind of "introduction" to my blog. I am working to make sure it stays in the top spot of my homepage but if it doesn't, sorry and you need to go look for it.



5.15.2008

Ignored


Hey, can you hear me? Time to stop ignoring me -I do exist.

I live in your heart, head and soul. You have kept me locked away for years, allowing a little peek when your guard was down.


Getting harder to keep me in the shadows after a taste, isn’t it?... Do you really want to?

How can something so shameful bring such illicit pleasure? Does it really matter?

Do you feel shame or something else? Feel betrayed by the responses of your body – responses you can’t ignore?

And don’t want to…that is TRULY the origin of the shame. See, I know you and have burrowed into the deep crevices that house those secret desires. You can’t hide from me anymore.

So what if the thought of surrendering control to someone gets you wet… So what if the idea of laying across someone’s lap while they gaze on your naked body and prepare to tend to THIS need causes you heart to race.

So what.

Ahhh, I see the problem…the incongruence. How can you reconcile the independent, successful, driven person with the need for submission?

You don’t have to…just accept it.


Just accept. That’s the answer.

I know you.

How can pain equal pleasure and…satisfaction? I hear your thoughts and know the fantasy. Someone taking you in tow and pulling you over a lap…holding you securely as clothing is removed and your vulnerability revealed…I know.

I see the hand crashing down on your exposed target…the loud boom followed by the burning that starts out slow and increases in intensity as smack after smack rains down until you reach the limit...almost. I feel the heat emanating from your body…in both places.

I hear the calm controlled voice that you hear. The voice that offers the rare gift of intimacy. I know how important the voice is for you…to feel connected...safe.

And to trust.

That’s ultimately what it is all about for you. Trusting someone enough to expose your secret…and surrender.

Yes, I know you. Maybe one day you can give voice to the word that consumes your fantasies.

Until then, I’ll wait….but I won’t be ignored.

6 comments:

Southern Sage said...

hmmmm
welcome.

dangergirl said...

Thanks southern sage for the welcome. This is my first blog experience so it is really cool to have a welcome so soon. dg

Lil Bit said...

Excellent beginning!

The reasons we ignore deep parts of ourselves are many... and I recognize this one, of which you speak.

Here's hoping you find another that can gain that Trust to allow you to go there, freely.

*hugs*

dangergirl said...

Funny, the person that requires the trust is me - that pesky ambivalence gets in the way...go figure.

Glad to know I am not alone.

*hug*

will69b said...

Oh, the "S" road awaits!

(nothing wrong with that.

Good cheer, and have fun.)

:)
x,Will
bottomsUp!

dangergirl said...

Thanks again will69b. Yep, the *s* road awaits me. It will be nice when I can actually say the word out loud in front of another person - that will definitely be a personal growth moment !!

I appreciate you dropping by.

dg