Jeez, it's everywhere

This showed up on CNN's website...


When to reveal your secret to a date

...Besides, waiting to reveal a potential deal breaker such as herpes or $300,000 in credit-card debt is just good dating decorum, says syndicated sex columnist Dan Savage, author of "The Commitment: Love, Sex, Marriage, and My Family."

"You don't want someone to reveal too much at first because that itself is a deal breaker," he says. "If somebody sits down on the first date and says, 'I'm into spanking,' even if you are into spanking, [too], you might react negatively to that."

I laughed a bit - internally, of course!! Please, I 'm at work ;)

When do you bring it up ?

Out & About

07/22/08 Hey there cyberland folks ! I have been thinking about this post for a few days, mulling it over, etc. Anyway, I decided to add a few things or "tweak" it if you will.

Fine, I added stuff so I could post it on another board - happy now ?!
That's it - just added some stuff and I kinda like it ;)

This is loosely based on a real life event...names have been changed to protect the innocent, yada yada (see Dragnet this time for the full disclaimer). Anyway, hope you enjoy it - if not, well, bummer for you.

Also, a big shout out to Lil' Bit for the title!!!

Well, I outed myself today at work (in more ways than one). It really wasn’t my fault…well, maybe but certainly wasn’t on purpose. Here, see what you think…

A little background - I work in a small office with 3 other women. As the nurse (and only medical person), I pretty much play things cool and am considered very level headed. My boss was surprised a few months ago when I picked out this modern geometrical painting. I mentioned it would look great in my bedroom since I painted it red. She stopped, turned around and simply stared at me a moment. She then said she would have never expected me to have a red bedroom. Yeah, I hide it well. You get the idea...

Soooo, I was reading my email at work and my boss walked in - didn't think anything about it. I minimized whatever I was reading (I am sure it was work related – ya’ know I can see you shaking your head, right?)

Swiveling my chair around, I turned my attention to her. She asked me about drawing some labs, if I could do it there, etc. After assuring her that I could perform the required tasks and she didn’t have to make the trek to the dark, dingy lab she nodded her head and exited my immediate work area. I then turned around and realized that my email was covering the screen of my computer. Apparently when I minimized the “work-related” screen this was waiting in the wings. Wish I had noticed it before I turned my back on the screen.

The subject of my email was "Is this a woman who is about to get her next spanking?" I'm sure you have noticed that Google uses a large font plus bolds the subject lines of emails...guess they want to make sure the reader can see it from across the room (they can). Please note that I don't actually say the *s* word out loud often- causes my face to turn lobster red and radiate enough heat to rival the sun.

Just another little wrinkle in the ditty...

Yep, that was the subject...guess that explains why she was looking at my screen for a full minute. She never said a word. I, on the other hand, began focusing on the resumption of respirations (mine) and wondering how in the hell I was going to fix this mess.

After all, how do I explain the incredible turn-on spanking is for me? How do I articulate what happens to my body as I am draped over someone’s lap, their hand resting gently on the small of my back while softly rubbing their fingertips over my ass ?

What exactly is the appropriate sentence structure when describing the tingling feeling that creeps over my body while waiting for that most delicious of sensations and the immediate intake of breath when the hand is removed and …there it is. What adjective does one choose when describing the silence followed by the deafening crash as flesh meets flesh that first time or the overwhelming relief when it happens again?

Mmmm, just what words should I use?

I can only imagine how tongue-tied I would be when describing the almost hypnotic state caused by the multitude of sensations as a regular cadence is established. ..the sound of each stroke coupled with the warmth slowly creeping throughout my body… the heat building as my body reaches out to accept the proffered gift…groans escaping while becoming lost in the world of pain/pleasure and ….

Wonder how to tactfully explain that I get wet as sweat pours from both our bodies…the need continuing to build until….Yeah, wonder how I explain that.

Anyway, back to the problem at hand (go ahead and take a break if you need to – I’ll be back after a glass of cold, COLD water).

So, we’re waiting for everybody else (all 2 of them) to get in the car and I mentioned that I didn't want to piss off one of my co-workers since I already had one person pissed off at me. It was a beautiful segue into the whole "yeah, I'm helping with a presentation, missed a deadline - well, not quite but he thought so, etc. so he threatened to spank me thing." I told her I didn't want her to think I was kinky.

"I already did." Funny, funny woman (I know she smiled at the color that flooded my face and neck…hell, my entire body).

I'm thinking things are cool and we had a little chuckle. Yeah, yeah so I lied - she'd probably be surprised by that too!!

Wait, it does get better (I know that is hard to believe but trust me).

So, I'm now off to lunch with my boss and the two other women that make up our employee roster. I’m the youngest there and we are like a family which is a nice way of saying no one is shy about asking pointed questions...I usually manage to stay out of the firing line.

Lunch was good, lots of laughs. We were talking in the car and there was a discussion of short hair = dyke haircut (long story). The conversation continued and somehow it came up that not all lesbians have short hair. I quipped, "Yeah, look at lipstick lesbians."

Bantering continued and someone inquired as to my knowledge about the hair length/lesbian connection. Without even thinking I shot back that I have shoulder length hair to keep my options open. Chuckles, laughing and we went on to the next exciting “chick” topic.

A co-worker grabbed the local community paper and began commenting on current events. We began reading aloud various events and pondering what they “really” meant…come on, the local grass roots organization called “Aphrodite’s revenge” probably isn’t a local anti-war group anymore than the “pole dancing” class is for exercise only.

So, Linda and I continued our perusing of upcoming events (a nice after-lunch bonding exercise). We came to the “local groups” section and she mentions that F##### (local gay/lesbian organization) has a great ad for the upcoming Social (hey, it is kinda sorta a proper noun!). Without missing a beat, I asked if the lesbian potluck was listed (we were still on the whole “dyke” haircut). Yvonne (my boss) quickly shot back, "Why, you don't cook?"

Yeah, it was an interesting day and all is cool. I'm thinking my co-workers are seeing a different side of me and aren't sure if I am serious or not. The wit, grin and twinkle in my eye definitely keep them guessing.

Hey, at least the whole lesbian/bisexual thing was a nice distraction from the spanking thing, don't ya' think? Also, one of my co-workers knows a lesbian that is single and she jokingly mentioned setting me up - that was before the "keep my options open" comment.

Wonder what will happen now...



I'm not sure what category this one falls into - vanilla or *s*. Fuck it, maybe it needs its own category !

07/19/08 Addendum - my co-worker is going to set up a girl's nite with her lesbian friend after all. It will be a group thing (apparently she knows all the local girls - she's straight as an arrow - go figure).

Shit, I haven't been on a date in a few decades...